Archive for the ‘Random’ Category

• Check-In

  Date: 2012.01.31 | Category: Random | Response: 0

  So, a lot of what I’ve been talking about lately has been my struggle with my weight. I’ve got more stuff going on than just that, honestly. That’s a big part of my headspace these days, but I’m not so focused on that to the detriment of the rest of my world.

  The biggest other thing would be this. On Monday, January 23, I started working at the Ohio Humanities Council, permanently and as a real person. I worked for them for the last six weeks of 2011 as a temp through OfficeTeam, but they hired me on as of January 23. This office… I can’t even tell you how awesome everyone is. I’m probably not going to do a lot of referring to them in my blog, though; partially, it’s because my job doesn’t define who I am, partially it’s because I’m kind of a representative of my employer even when I’m not at work (like everyone seems to be), and partially it’s because the Executive Director knows where my blog is and reads it on an infrequent and random basis (HI BOSS!). Suffice it to say, the depression I fell into when I didn’t get the job at the school was more than filled by OHC. These people rock so hard, it’s amazing that they don’t have a recording contract and people throwing various underthings at them when they’re on stage.

  Knitting is knitting. Nothing major and/or new on the needles, which is how I’m planning it. I have a ton of yarn that I could be knitting into new things, but I’m concentrating on working on the things that have been on the needles for a good long time and have been promised to people. I need to get so many things done. Hell, in the first month of 2012, I’ve already finished one sweater and two baby surprise jackets. I just need to add buttons to all three of them. I’ve got one more BSJ to do for yet another freakin’ pregnant woman at Leon’s job, but then I’m done with the jackets for a bit. I’m finishing off the first half of a pair of fingerless mitts tonight then casting on for the second mitt. They go quickly, even with all the cabling, and I have at least one more pair of them to make. I’m also about half done with a sweater for The Princess (see the Fat Family Fitness blog if that makes no sense to you because you think that either Belle or I answer to that) that will make her look so freakin’ awesome. A shawl for Melissa. A lace scarf for Niki. A hat and a blanket for Scott. A sweater for Jason. A sweater for me.

  I’m looking into joining a gym. We’ll see what February specials at the local places look like, but I’m leaning heavily toward Planet Fitness. Their whole “No Judgment Zone” philosophy speaks to the fatboy in me. I don’t need some no-neck ‘roided up lunkhead giving me shit for not being able to benchpress a Buick. Also, I don’t need to be where every judgey homo in the world works out. It’s not a scene, it’s not a be-seen, it’s a place to drop this 60 pounds and turn it into sexy, sexy, furry muscle.

  (Aside: It’s odd being up high enough that helicopters are buzzing by my office window. Kind of awesome, though. We’re on the 16th floor.)

  We’re heading to Drenched Fur (link probably NSFW) in Erie at the end of March for their waterpark night. Those poor pool filters. 300+ bears? Yeah. Awesome. I’m looking so very forward to it, more for the getting-together-with-friends and getting-out-of-Ohio of it than for the bear run side of it, but that’ll be neat, too.

  I think I’m going to start posting stuff about my City of Heroes/Villains/Going Rogue characters, complete with photos of all of their costumes. That’ll give me some fun shit to talk about, hey? Maybe I’ll blog more often! Perhaps a Tuesday or Thursday feature! I’m also thinking about starting a monthly or bi-weekly podcast. Anyone interested in just listening to me talk?

• Brotips

  Date: 2012.01.07 | Category: Random | Response: 0

  You know, I kind of find the whole “bro” subculture kind of offensive. That being said, BroTips is kind of a fun site. If you can look past the whole “bro” thing. My favorite, so far, is this one. Shout-out to Clay (probably the closest thing I’ve got to a “bro”, if I had them) and Neil Patrick Harris. Just because I dig NPH, and because I’m pretty sure Barney Stinson is the reason for the bro subculture.

• More posty, less ignorey

  Date: 2012.01.03 | Category: Random | Response: 4

  I don’t make resolutions. Or, at least, I try not to. I do like goals, though. Nice, easy-ish goals. Stuff like “lose 5 pounds a month” sounds easy and attainable. If I do that, do you realize that that’s SIXTY POUNDS this year? Yeah. I’m at 240. That takes me to 180, my personal goal weight. So, here we got with the goals for 2011.

  1. Lose 5 pounds a month.
  2. Finish the knitting projects you have on the needles. The ones you can remember are:
     • Sweater
     • Sweater
     • Sweater
     • Sweater
     • Fingerless gloves
     • Fingerless gloves
     • Fingerless gloves
     • Fingerless gloves
     • Blanket
     • Lace scarf
  3. Finish Run a 5K. Start to finish. You finished one already. You need to run the whole way. Even if it takes you a million years to run it, you will run it. Even if you get passed by every stroller or walker, you WILL run it. You’re already locked into the Jingle Bell Run for December.
  4. Put your degree to work. Seriously. And soon.
  5. Find a prosthedontist who won’t destroy your wallet. Finish your smile.
  6. Blog more. Yew rite guud. Doesn’t matter if anyone reads it. Write for the love of writing. Get the words out of your head.
  7. Care less about things and people you can’t change. They will continue to be who and what they are. (And yes, this is probably the hardest one.)
  8. Talk to The Princess and The Drama Queen more. Kick them in the ass to run.
  9. Win another frickin’ blue ribbon in the Ohio State Fair. You’ve got MAD FUCKIN’ KNITTIN’ SKILLZ and you have a fantastic shawl… around here… somewhere… Shit.
  10. Find the shawl. Before May. (Oops.)
  11. Finish the playlist for The Awesomest Niece Ever. Send her the CD.
  12. Don’t be such a homebody. There are people who would like to see you. Go see them. Even if it’s in a bar.
  13. Be good; it sounds like you’re built for it.
  14. …and see more movies. You’ve been watching the same ones way too much.
  15. Love like a crazy person. Lose yourself in it every once in a while.
  16. Go dancing. Yes, you have a rule about fat boys dancing. Break it.

  Sure, I think I can do that. And more.

  Happy 2012, y’all. May we all hit our goal weights before the world comes to an end. Because the world needs more skinny, hungry corpses.

• College Football?? YOU?!

  Date: 2011.12.05 | Category: Random | Response: 0

  (This is a repost of a blog post I made in 2009. A friend on Facebook made a post about a couple of this year’s bowl games, and it all became relevant again.)

  Yes, me. I love football, and the more amateur it is, the more I love it, right down to the PeeWee level. Those kids are (mostly) playing for the pure love of the game. Once you get up to pro ball, it’s a job, and then it’s awesome because of the possibility of the Star Factor, but not as awesome because you have to bust your ass more to stay employed.

  I saw this article yesterday, and started with a split second reaction of, “Legislation for college football? Really?” which quickly morphed into, “Well, that might be a bit extreme, but I can see why they’d want to regulate it a little bit.” and into “The BCS is completely skewing football.” And they pretty much are.

  Take a look at that article again. Five conferences — Conference USA, Mid-American, Mountain West, Sun Belt and Western Athletic — get the chance to send one team total to a bowl game, where the other six conferences can send multiple teams. How is that fair? Granted, one of my teams is Big Ten Conference (Wisconsin!) but the other is Mountain West Conference (Wyoming!), and most likely will never see a bowl game.

  Do I think that legislation is the way to go? Probably not, but you know what? There’s gotta be some frivolity every once in a while. Kinda like the President “pardoning” the turkeys on Thanksgiving. I do think that some reform is needed for anything called a National Championship. If the NCAA does it for basketball, why can’t they do it for football? Sixteen teams to eight teams to four teams to two to a true national champion, complete with banners and parades and bragging rights. Let the teams themselves figure out who’s the best, not some arbitrary choice of who goes where. Let the bowl games be the quarter- and semi-finals and then pick one to be the Championship game. Would it take time to restructure? Sure it would. But that’s why these people get paid the big bucks.

• A lie? From a corporation??

  Date: 2011.10.26 | Category: Random | Response: 0

  Say it ain’t so! And before we go any further, let’s leave the moralizing about it being Wal-mart and OMG HOW CAN YOU SHOP THERE!!!!1eleven!! elsewhere, shall we?

  Wal-mart has a “Match it!” commercial that’s been getting a lot of airtime lately. They’re trying to pimp out their price matching policy. It is, for the most part, a decent policy. Until you try to use it to price match something on their website with the same product in the store.

  I’m trying to lose weight. We all know that. So I’m looking for more accoutrements to help in that quest. So I went in search of said items. I found this item on walmart.com. It’s a good setup. I talked with a friend who’s more fitness-minded than I am (HI, MATT!) and he said it’s a good gateway price and to go for it. So I trekked on down to my local Ghetto Wal-mart and found the item on the shelf. I took it to one of the price-check scanners, and it said that it was $21.37. Not a terrible price, but not the $15 it was advertising online. So I took it up to the service center and asked the guy behind the counter about it. He said that they don’t price match any websites. “Even your own?” I asked incredulously. “Even our own. It’s stupid, I know, but they won’t let me,” he said. So I trekked my happy fat ass back to Sporting Goods, put it back on the shelf (because I was taught to put things back where I found them, and I worked in retail long enough to know that it’s a raging bitch to have to put stuff away after rude customers have just left them wherever they want), and left the store, fuming.

  Incidentally, I did check the walmart.com Ad Match Guarantee when I got home, and it does state that they don’t match Internet pricing. I can see that, when it’s from some other company, but to not match your own site? REALLY?? Why would you do such a thing? I can buy it online for $15 and have it sent to the store for pickup for no cost in shipping. How does this make any sense at all??

• Really, Etsy? REALLY?

  Date: 2011.10.10 | Category: Random | Response: 0

  Say what you will about Regretsy, sometimes they do more than just mock things that deserve the mockery. Such as this little gem.

  I have a lot of friends who are independent artists. They work their asses off, and very few of them get the recognition they deserve. When something like the above happens, and a company like Etsy sides with the art thieves instead of the original artists? Yeah, that’s not cool. Not one tiny fucking bit. All of you who are touching yourselves in googly, glitter-covered awe over Etsy need to pay attention to this thing. Etsy doesn’t give two shits about the actual art or the ethics involved with some of the “artists” on their site. If they did, they’d take action against that kind of bullshit. Only, they won’t. Why? Because they’re only interested in getting their own money and not about the integrity of the business. Like any other business.

• It’s like Amish magic!

  Date: 2011.10.06 | Category: Random | Response: 1

  Sometimes, the silliest things make me happy and proud of myself.

  Far and away, my most important super-power is shopping. I don’t mean that I can spend money with the best of them. No, I mean that I can find the perfect gift for anyone, and I can find it at phenomenally low prices. I knit like a fiend, and I’m damn good at it. As well, I’m learning to spin, and I can get pretty damn good singles. I’m also learning how to cook, and I’m learning how to make foods work better for our diet.

  Tonight, though, I made butter. Yes, much like the argument Muggles use when I tell them I’m knitting socks, I know, I can get butter at [insert grocery store here] for blah dollars and not have to worry about making it. So very missing the point, darling. I took a quart jar, poured in a pint of heavy cream, screwed the lid on, turned on Castle, and started shaking. By the end of it, I still had what looked like some sort of goo. So I started up Body of Proof. Fifteen minutes into it, I looked at my jar. There was starting to be clear spots in the glass. I watched it while I shook it. All of a sudden, *POOF*! SOLID STUFF AND BUTTERMILK! Holy SHIT, I made BUTTER! I was skeptical, but by the Blessed Saint Elsie (the cow from the Borden logo — whose husband, incidentally is Elmer the Bull, from the GLUE FACTORY! SICK MOFOS!), I HAVE MADE BUTTER! I feel all Tom Hanks in Cast Away.

  Yes, I also know that people have been making their own dairy products for millenia. However, this is the first time that I did it. By myself. I feel like the Amish have been hiding their little folk magics away from us on purpose. Just mark this up as one more thing on my Skills List for the Zombie-Pocalypse.

• Return from Brigadoon

  Date: 2011.09.21 | Category: Random | Response: 1

  To be honest, I feel a little lost. It was an absolutely amazing week, and it just confirmed to me that I will never be the Workshift Coordinator ever again. Met some amazing new people (and one in particular — you know who you are). Had fantastic, transformative magic run over and through me for an entire week.

  And now, that time is past again, and I have to dwell in the “Real World” (and, really, the only reason that it’s the “real world” is that there are more people living here than in our community). My re-entry started while I was still high on that energy from Between the Worlds and then quickly bottomed out as I found out that a job that I really wanted was given to another candidate. It was absolutely devastating for me. I tried so hard not to get my hopes up for it, but evidently, I didn’t try hard enough.

  Part of what sucks about this is that, for the last 18 months, my entire identity has been about me being in school. Now I [get to/have to] re-invent myself in order to have an identity in the “real world” to which people can respond (i.e., “What do you do for a living?”). As if I’m living to work, not working to live. Whether or not I have a job, I have a career and it’s what I do.

  So now begins the Job Hunt. It’s the most demoralizing, hateful thing in the history of ever. All most people do is bitch about having to go to work, how much their jobs suck, blah blah blah. Well, the alternative is to not have a job, and in this shitball of an economy, perhaps you should STFU about your “shitty” job or give it to someone who would appreciate having it.

  I don’t want to go back to temping. I’m better than that. I want a real job with real benefits. Temping… sucks. I have never gotten paid what I’m worth at a temp job, and the agencies and clients treat you like you’re slave labor or some kind of leper. It’s shitty to get through a day with nobody talking to you, because they all know that in a week or two, you’ll be gone.

  I hate the depressing whininess with which I’m dealing right now. I’ve fucking AWESOME at what I do, and I hate like crazy that employers are such shit right now simply because they can be. And I don’t know how to fix any of that.

• Clothing Makes the Man

  Date: 2011.08.30 | Category: Random | Response: 1

  Also? Tell me I can’t rock the glitter out of a vest.

  

• …but I’m not in Austin, Minnesota…

  Date: 2011.08.05 | Category: Random | Response: 0

  I dunno about anyone else on WordPress but ever since I upgraded to 3.2.1, I’ve gotten about eleventeen brazillionty spam comments. Nothing up until then, and then *BAM!* spamspamspamspamspamspamspamspamspamspamspamspamspamspamspamspamspamspamspam. Eesh.